Lecturing a friend

"weapons cocealed here, little sisters on da pill here, cant pay our bills here but we like ta chill here COMIN FROM WHERE IM FROM"
Male, 18 years old

Your 'headline', Eddy, is superfluous and boring. Do you know what a catharsis is? A sudden emotional breakdown or climax that constitutes overwhelming feelings of great pity, sorrow, laughter or any extreme change in emotion that results in the renewal, restoration and revitalization for living. Your catharsis, this extreme change, is a play. I may have been completely oblivious to how your life was going, but I hadn't seen any bit of sorrow in your life - no need for weapons and vain armor. It doesn't normally upset me when I see people going through character transformation, but you were such a charming, authentic person, and now you're portraying yourself as a callous thug. I recently started gardening for my mum, planting vegetables and flowers around the house, and during this process, I learned that a thug is a gardening term meaning an over-vigorous plant that spreads excessively. This is what unmoved teenage boys do as a favourite past-time - become thugs and ruin gardens. This is understandable, a defensive way of life, for someone that needs to defend themselves against their home area or affiliations, but you are sweet and lovely enough to far withstand anything without being crude, and certainly without being like every other teenage boy with hopes and dreams of being a thug. This is for Dante, as well, and you two can complain about getting a message like this as much as you like, and go on about how I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, but I care about both of you too much to see either of you stop being who, and how, you were for the majority of your lives. Eddy, your favourite books are listed as Harry Potter and you emphasize taking care of the planet, I can't think of anything sweeter. None of this is intended to insult you, so I hope you don't take this offensively. If you do, then I'm sorry but I mean everything I've written.
I'm sure your headline would upset Lina, too.
One more thing to bother you about, if he is actually your younger cousin, that means he's still a child, just like you and me, and tell him that he just looks an ass giving the middle finger in the photograph you have up.
Have a great night.

The Scooby to your Shaggy,
Grace

moved to the desert and came out dry