During the past seven days, I have turned five pounds of massed fat into muscle, ordered ten rolls of sushi, which I ate with brimming sauce trays of 酢, read The Scarlet Letter, The History of the Peloponnesian War, Othello, the Moor of Venice thrice, and Optics by Sir Isaac Newton. I have mastered standing position yoga, gone to Niagara Falls, stayed in the seabluegreen glass walled Sheraton overlooking the waterfalls, swam in the indoor pool with a durable balm of chlorine, purchased a sun tent for the beach, adjacently sustained the 600,000 gallons of water manifested each second by the Canadian falls,
    I had speechless reciprocation for tremendous nature.
    I looked up with the white mist blanketing my glasses
    and felt humbled, beholden to it. I imagined leading
    a boat to the brink and leaping forward off the prow.
I began a phrenic list of the types of trees I've seen in my life, survived a car crash on Independence Day

Drunken holiday enthusiasts ... He rode in unnecessary haste down an alley way, then plowed past the front of my car, causing damage to only the bumper and right headlight. The opponent spun into a pole, thence revealed a man sporting no compliance with the accurate size of his apparel. A slug, he picked up the pieces of his car in the street, and with every ounce of balance and enlightenment, said, "Man, people just gotta slow down."
Yes. Beautiful as a mayfly.

I purchased maple syrup and sugar plum preserves in Upstate New York, taken nearly 2 gigabytes of digital photographs, additional roll of film, lit roughly twenty packages of sparklers and amateur fireworks, cut my hair evenly to my collarbone due to heat, along with my sister's and mother's, received Elizabeth Arden's Mediterranean perfume from Tim, added two more of Watson's teeth to a brass container on my vanity, added two more images given by characters from Animal Crossing to a table in the video game, enjoyed my father's great joke about cookies on a grave, and I have been scheduled for New York jury duty for the first time in my life.
And I wore my deceased grandmother's wedding ring on my thumb for two days. I might have received bad luck from it.